Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Saw the following on the DTC facebook page I "belong" to:

"Our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on the object (PERSON) we're waiting for." Charles Stanley (Isaiah 64:4)

Well baby, I've been waiting a long time, and I'm willing to wait as long as it takes! What does that tell you about your value?! <3

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Chin Up, Look on the Bright Side, Stay Positive

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Negativity will get me nohwere. Right now, though, I'm having a hard time seeing a silver lining. This LOA wait has me dejected. Like, feeling-like-I'm-going-to-cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat dejected. I'm experiencing the sad that makes it hard to want to get up and go teach sad (and I love my job!). It's an almost lethargy-inducing kind of dejection. You get the idea. And it's exhausting to fake it. I try to fake it at work so my students don't feel short-changed. I fake it with co-workers because the last thing I want to do is answer the question, "So, do you know yet when you'll be going?" I know it's well-intentioned, and I truly do appreciate the kindness and thoughtfulness they're displaying, but the truth is, when I have to explain the process, the fact that we're still in translation after 58 days only brings to the forefront the reality that we still have many more months before we'll be leaving to go get Ethan. I try to pretend (emphasis on try) it's all good with family and friends. Here's the kicker; I even have to fake it a bit when I'm with the sweetest, happiest, loving-est little guy I know, and that's saying something. (Before anybody gives me the advice to enjoy this time with Aiden as an only child, as a family of three, please know that I am -- we are! We play, we cuddle, we're silly and love-y. In my heart, though, we are now really a family of four with our 2nd son waiting for us half a world away, and that leaves a hole in my heart and a pit in my stomach.) Sadly, the only one I don't wear a facade around is the one person who shouldn't have to deal with it -- the one person who is enduring the wait with me. Yup. My dear hubby. I'm afraid he catches the brunt of it; although, I do try not be a whole lot crabbier than usual. ;) It just that this not knowing is starting to wear on me. Wear me down. Having no control over the process and no real idea what's going on is stressful beyond words. This is the reality of international adoption, I'm afraid. I just don't remember it being this hard last time. Maybe it was, and IA is like pregnancy and labor: block out how truly painful and uncomfortable it can be. Add to this the fact that the longer we wait, the later we travel. The later we travel, the less time Troy will have with Ethan. Right now it would appear that we will go to China right about the time school starts. Go figure. That way I can take up a chunk of my summer doing lesson plans for three months, lose a SIGNIFCANT amount of money on lost wages (do NOT get me started on the policy that allows bio mothers to be able to take 6 weeks paid leave and adoptive parents only 2 weeks!), and have a substitute start the year for me and implement rules and behaviors that I have to deal with upon my return. Most importantly, this travel time would ensure that Troy will get no extra time with Ethan as he would if we traveled even in July. I know that God's timing is perfect and that we will meet Ethan when it is right. I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head and heart around this. I need to find peace in the process.

A new picture (to some of you) to illustrate why I am so uptight!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Tired of Waiting

Like the title says. I'm tired of waiting. I am going to go get Ethan. Shouldn't be a problem. I've got my map:

View Larger Map

I've got my directions:

5. Take exit 10B to merge onto I-90 W 935 mi
6. Merge onto I-15 S 7.6 mi
7. Slight left onto I-90 W 579 mi
8. Take exit 10 to merge onto I-405 N toward Bellevue 3.3 mi
9. Take the exit toward WA-520 W 0.5 mi
10. Keep left at the fork, follow signs for Washington 520 W and merge onto WA-520 W
Partial toll road 5.8 mi
11. Take the Montlake Blvd exit
Toll road 0.5 mi
12. Merge onto Montlake Blvd E 0.3 mi
13. Slight left onto NE Pacific St 0.8 mi
14. Slight left onto NE Northlake Way 0.2 mi
15. Turn left to stay on NE Northlake Way 79 ft
16. Turn right to stay on NE Northlake Way 1.0 mi
17. Kayak across the Pacific Ocean 2,756 mi
18. Continue straight 0.1 mi
19. Turn left onto Kuilima Dr 0.5 mi
20. Take the 3rd right onto HI-83 W 12.4 mi
21. Continue straight onto HI-99 S/​Kamehameha Hwy 6.5 mi
22. Slight left onto HI-80 S/​Kamehameha Hwy
Continue to follow Kamehameha Hwy 2.1 mi
23. Take the Interstate H-2 S ramp to Honolulu 0.2 mi
24. Merge onto I-H-2 S 7.9 mi
25. Merge onto I-H-1 E 4.7 mi
26. Take exit 13B toward Halawa Hts. Stadium 0.3 mi
27. Merge onto I-H-201 E 4.1 mi
28. Merge onto I-H-1 E 4.1 mi
29. Take exit 23 for Punahou St toward Waikiki/​Manoa 0.2 mi
30. Turn right onto Punahou St 0.1 mi
31. Turn right onto S Beretania St 0.1 mi
32. Take the 1st left onto Kalakaua Ave 1.9 mi
33. Kayak across the Pacific Ocean 3,879 mi
34. Turn left toward 県道275号線 0.4 mi
35. Turn left toward 県道275号線 358 ft
36. Turn left toward 県道275号線 0.2 mi
37. Turn right onto 県道275号線 0.1 mi
38. Turn left onto 国道125号線 0.1 mi
39. Turn right onto 県道24号線 0.6 mi
40. Turn left at 千束町(交差点) onto 国道354号線 2.0 mi
41. Turn right at 中村陸橋下(交差点) to stay on 国道354号線 1.0 mi
42. Take the ramp to 常磐自動車道
Toll road 0.3 mi
43. Keep left at the fork, follow signs for 東京 and merge onto 常磐自動車道
Toll road 23.8 mi
44. Take exit 三郷JCT on the right toward 首都高・銀座・湾岸線
Toll road 0.7 mi
45. Merge onto 首都高速6号三郷線
Toll road 5.8 mi
46. Take exit 小菅JCT toward 湾岸線・銀座
Toll road 0.3 mi
47. Merge onto 首都高速中央環状線
Toll road 0.4 mi
48. Take exit 堀切JCT on the right toward 銀座
Toll road 0.3 mi
49. Merge onto 首都高速6号向島線
Toll road 5.4 mi
50. Take exit 江戸橋JCT on the right toward 神田橋・北池袋
Toll road 0.4 mi
51. Merge onto 首都高速都心環状線
Toll road 3.8 mi
52. Take exit 谷町JCT on the right toward 東名・渋谷
Toll road 0.3 mi
53. Merge onto 首都高速3号渋谷線
Toll road 6.9 mi
54. Continue onto 東名高速道路
Toll road 189 mi
55. Take exit 豊田JCT toward 東海環状・伊勢湾岸道・豊田東出口・土岐JCT・四日市・新名神
Toll road 0.3 mi
56. Keep right at the fork, follow signs for 伊勢湾岸道・四日市・新名神 and merge onto 伊勢湾岸自動車道
Toll road 19.8 mi
57. Take the ramp onto 伊勢湾岸自動車道
Toll road 12.1 mi
58. Take exit 四日市JCT on the right toward 東名阪道・大阪・伊勢道
Toll road 0.6 mi
59. Merge onto 東名阪自動車道
Toll road 13.8 mi
60. Take exit 亀山JCT toward 新名神・京都・大阪
Toll road 0.6 mi
61. Merge onto 新名神高速道路
Toll road 30.9 mi
62. Take exit 草津JCT toward 草津PA・名神・京滋・京都・大阪
Toll road 0.2 mi
63. Take exit 草津PA on the right toward 名神
Toll road 0.5 mi
64. Merge onto 名神高速道路
Toll road 30.1 mi
65. Take exit 吹田JCT toward 中国道・山陽道・宝塚・岡山
Toll road 1.1 mi
66. Merge onto 中国自動車道
Toll road 18.8 mi
67. Take exit 神戸JCT toward 山陽道・岡山・徳島
Toll road 0.9 mi
68. Merge onto 山陽自動車道
Toll road 192 mi
69. Take exit 廿日市JCT on the right toward 山陽道・岩国・北九州
Toll road 0.9 mi
70. Merge onto 広島岩国道路
Toll road 7.3 mi
71. Take the ramp onto 山陽自動車道
Toll road 59.2 mi
72. Take exit 山口JCT on the right toward 中国道・下関・北九州
Toll road 0.8 mi
73. Merge onto 中国自動車道
Toll road 39.9 mi
74. Continue onto 関門橋
Toll road 5.9 mi
75. Continue onto 九州自動車道 (signs for 九州道・福岡・熊本)
Toll road 215 mi
76. Take exit 高速鹿児島IC toward 鹿児島出口・南九州道・川内・伊集院
Toll road 0.2 mi
77. Keep right at the fork, follow signs for 川内・伊集院・南九州道 and merge onto 国道3号線
Partial toll road 0.4 mi
78. Take exit 鹿児島西I.C on the right toward 南九州道
Toll road 0.4 mi
79. Merge onto 南九州西回り自動車道(市来~鹿児島西)/​鹿児島道路
Toll road 12.7 mi
80. Take the ramp to 国道3号線
Partial toll road 0.9 mi
81. Turn left at 市来I.C入口(交差点) onto 国道3号線 (signs for 川内・串木野) 4.5 mi
82. Turn left at 串木野駅(交差点) onto 県道38号線 1.0 mi
83. Turn right 0.2 mi
84. Turn left 0.1 mi
85. Turn left 351 ft
86. Take the 串木野~里~中甑~鹿島~長浜 ferry
Partial toll road 40.3 mi
87. Turn left toward 県道349号線 174 ft
88. Turn right toward 県道349号線 187 ft
89. Turn left onto 県道349号線 5.4 mi
90. Turn right to stay on 県道349号線 1.2 mi
91. Turn left onto 県道350号線 2.1 mi
92. Jet ski across the Pacific Ocean 486 mi
93. Continue straight onto 塘后支路 0.2 mi
94. Turn right onto 塘后路 0.3 mi
95. Turn left onto 双城路 0.7 mi
96. Turn right onto 永清路 .7 mi
97. Turn left onto 宝杨路 0.3 mi
98. Slight right to stay on 宝杨路 0.4 mi
99. Take the 2nd right onto 同济路 1.1 mi
100. Turn left onto 富锦路 0.3 mi
101. Take the ramp on the left onto G1501上海绕城高速
Partial toll road 14.4 mi
102. Take exit G15/​宁波/​南通 toward G15沈海高速
Toll road 0.2 mi
103. Keep right at the fork and merge onto G15沈海高速
Toll road 286 mi
104. Take exit G25/​临沂/​连云港港口 toward G25长深高速
Toll road 0.2 mi
105. Take exit 临沂 on the left to merge onto G25长深高速
Toll road 15.0 mi
106. Take exit 班庄/​黑林/​临沂 on the left
Partial toll road 0.7 mi
107. Turn left toward 327国道 0.9 mi
108. Take the 1st right toward 327国道 0.1 mi
109. Continue straight onto 327国道
Partial toll road 19.8 mi
110. Slight left to stay on 327国道 0.8 mi
111. Slight right to stay on 327国道
Partial toll road 14.4 mi
112. Continue onto 沂河路 5.3 mi
113. Take the ramp to G2京沪高速
Partial toll road 0.3 mi
114. Keep right at the fork and merge onto G2京沪高速
Toll road 99.7 mi
115. Take the exit on the left onto S29滨莱高速
Toll road 82.0 mi
116. Continue onto G25长深高速
Toll road 27.0 mi
117. Merge onto G18荣乌高速
Toll road 85.5 mi
118. Slight right onto G25长深高速
Toll road 75.7 mi
119. Take the exit on the left onto 唐津高速
Toll road 26.6 mi
120. Keep right at the fork and merge onto G1京哈高速
Toll road 331 mi
121. Slight right to stay on G1京哈高速
Toll road 159 mi
122. Take the exit on the left onto G0102长春绕城高速
Toll road 7.2 mi
123. Take exit 长白山西景区/​长春/​伊通 on the left toward 人民大街
Toll road 0.9 mi
124. Keep left at the fork to continue toward 人民大街
Partial toll road 1.2 mi
125. Slight right onto 人民大街 1.1 mi
126. Make a U-turn at 南环城路 0.2 mi
127. Turn right 210 ft
128. Turn right 0.1 mi
129. Take the 1st left 217 ft

Changchun, Jilin, China!!

Now, those pesky toll roads may add up and #17 and #33 MAY pose some challenges, but darn it, I think I'm up to it! Besides, #92 should be fun! Here's the thing. If I have to wait much longer (and it looks like I may since we're STILL IN TRANSLATION! GRRRR!), I may take matters into my own hands. Wish me luck!

Monday, April 2, 2012

102 Days

It has been 102 days since we first saw Ethan Fletcher's adorable little face. Over three months since we looked at those kissable cheeks. Three-plus months since our referral of Chang Bo Yong. Our LOI was submitted 47 days ago -- as soon as it was possible after we were logged in over there. We are 41 days into our LOA wait.

I guess the serinity prayer works here as well as anywhere! I can't do anything to move the process along; it's out of my hands. I need patience and acceptance that we will get our approval when the time is right and not a second before. So, God, please grant me patience. NOW -- if possible!!!